


just know i think you're rare

by tired_AND_gay



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nonbinary Deceit | Janus Sanders, Nonbinary Logic | Logan Sanders, Panic Attack, poor body image, there is crying and screaming so watch out for that, there's also mentions of food, virgil is a very good boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:15:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24372631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tired_AND_gay/pseuds/tired_AND_gay
Summary: Janus doesn't like his scars. Virgil knows just how to tell Janus that he loves them and that he thinks their scars are beautiful.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 3
Kudos: 69





	just know i think you're rare

Virgil missed his boyfriend. He missed them a lot. Maybe a little more than a lot. Maybe he could go over to Janus’ house? Maybe Janus would think he was being annoying or too clingy and then maybe Janus would break up with him because they couldn’t stand him anymore. The ring of Virgil’s phone interrupted his thoughts. 

“Hey Lo” Virgil paused, taking a steadying breath, “what’s up?” 

“Nothing of much importance. I can hear your breathing, are you in need of calming techniques?” Virgil could hear the worry in Logan’s voice, even if e tried to hide it. 

Virgil hummed, “I think I’m alright. What did you call for?” 

“Roman asked me to inquire about your favorite type of cookie, I believe he is planning one of his parties.” 

Virgil bounced a little, he loved Roman’s parties. “Well shit, Lo, that’s more important than my breathing. Tell him triple chocolate.” 

“Okay, may you ask Janus for their favorite drink?” Virgil hears Logan moving around, he wouldn’t be surprised if Logan was reorganizing eir desk for the third time this week. 

“Uh, Lo buddy, couldn’t you just ask them yourself?” 

“Yes, Virgil, I am capable of asking Janus what his favorite drink is, but you are their boyfriend, are you not?”

“I-” Virgil started before Logan cut him off. This nerd knew how to push his buttons. 

“Assuming you are, they feel most comfortable around you and will not find the question intrusive.” Logan huffed as if to convey that the logic was simple and Virgil could’ve reached the conclusion himself if he only thought for a moment longer. 

Virgil chuckled, “Yeah, I can ask them for you.”

“Thank you Virgil, have a pleasant afternoon.” 

“Love you, Lo.” Logan hung up before Virgil could do it himself. 

Virgil started to his room on autopilot, he was dressed in his favorite yellow patched hoodie and ready to walk out the door until he realized what he was doing. He kept thinking that Janus wouldn’t want to see him, but Janus knew what they were signing up for when they asked him out. Virgil mustered up his courage and opened the door only to realize it was raining. Well shit, he was going to need an umbrella. After he grabbed an umbrella from his neighbor, Pryce, Virgil made the half mile walk to Janus’ apartment building. 

When Virgil arrived at Janus’ tiny, but well taken care of apartment he unlocked the door and let himself in. Virgil wandered into the kitchen and living room looking for his boyfriend. 

“Jan, where are you?” Virgil poked his head into Janus’ bedroom expecting to find him sleeping, instead he found them staring in their vanity mirror holding back sobs. 

“Jan? Hey, what’s up?” Virgil went to sit on their bed, waiting to see if Janus wanted physical contact or not. 

Janus spun around with an angry look on his face “Virgil, I’m so ugly. Look at me. I look like a monster.” They spat. After a moment of silence Janus turned back to the mirror and started to scratch at their scars. 

“I want them off! I want to be normal!” Janus screamed letting the tears flow. 

“Jan. Jan listen to me.” Virgil stood, moving closer to Janus, but still waiting for their consent to be touched. “You are not a monster and you don’t look like one either.” 

“But Virge I do! People never look me in the face, cross the street when I’m walking on the side they’re on, and, hell, babies cry when they see me!” Janus’ face twisted in their attempts to stop the tears from streaming down their cheeks. 

“Jan, may I touch you?” 

Janus’ hurriedly nodded, “Yes.” 

Virgil stood next to Janus and began to run his fingers through their hair. “You remember the first time I saw you?” 

Janus mumbled something unintelligible. Virgil took it as a sign to continue, “It was at one of Roman’s parties. He really wanted to invite his theater group, but I was so nervous and shot it down everytime.” Virgil took the opportunity of the break in his talking to move them both to the bed to cuddle. 

“Eventually he annoyed me so much I said yes just to get him to leave me alone. I ended up going even though I was so anxious about meeting new people. Turns out that was the best decision I’ve ever made.” Janus’ breathing began to steady, Virgil’s voice calming them. 

“When I saw you for the first time I did a double take. Sure your scars were something pretty rare to see, but your dress is really what made me stare. You were so breathtaking I could’ve keeled over right then and there. I panicked so hard when you caught me staring I went and ran to Logan.” 

Janus chuckled and began to tap their finger on Virgil’s thigh. Virgil recognized the pattern of their taps. They were saying, You’re an asshole, but I love you anyway. 

“Mmm, I love you too. Do you still want to hear the rest of the story?” Virgil asked, rubbing small circles on Janus’ arm. They leaned into the touch and closed their eyes, mumbling a “Yeah.” 

“When I went to Logan e said that I was being irrational and that you wouldn’t kick my ass. This was before I asked em to be my QPP so I was still a blushy mess around em. I took eir advice and I walked up to you, trying not to shake like a lost puppy. I think you know the rest.” Virgil looked down at the love of his life and smiled. Janus was falling asleep. Virgil got out of bed and kissed Janus’ forehead. 

Virgil quietly walked to the door, turning out the lights on the way. As he made his way into the kitchen he let out a breath. He was tired too. Virgil sat down at the counter and began to make tea for when Janus woke up. God, he really loved them.

**Author's Note:**

> fic #2!!! i really loved writing this one, it was a inspired by my trans siblings who have high dysphoria. i lov y'all <3


End file.
